He's gone, what does it matter?
by Janneprovidence
Summary: Months after the Second Wizarding War, a certain someone find's out she's pregnant. She's lost at what to do, since the father is dead and her friends have no idea how to help her. Is he truly dead, or was it all some cruel joke she wasn't in on? SSHG
1. Realization

It was days before the second wizarding war was supposed to start. She hadn't been in Hogwarts for quite some time and tonight she was to make her return without Harry or Ron knowing. She had been keeping something from them, something she had been trying to deny herself for many years. Her attraction towards Severus Snape. It was only last month did she make the move on him. He was in his classroom grading papers, it was late at night but she couldn't sleep. She knew she shouldn't have knocked but she did anyways.

"Professor?" she said quietly.

Snape looked up from the papers he was grading and looked at who was standing in his doorway bothering him at this time of night.

"Miss Granger, to what do I owe this displeasure" he replied with a sneer.

She knew he hated Gryffindor's, but he hated the Golden Trio even more. She stood in his doorway for a moment, unsure of what to do. Should she act upon her emotions? She did anyways. She practically flung herself at the older man, and to her surprise he didn't push her away. Her lips came crashing into his, and she quickly deepened the kiss by opening her mouth to let his tongue in.

Clothes were quickly shed and things that shouldn't have happened... happened. He had her bent over on his desk as he thrusted in her harder and harder until the climaxed at the same time.

"I love you Hermione Granger... always have" he said quietly as he pulled out of her.

"I love you too Severus..."

They spent the rest of the night in each other's arms, soaking up the love and passion before it had to end.

Hermione hadn't been the same since that night, and she took his death harder than anyone else. No one knew why though, everyone assumed that she hated the professor but they were very wrong. It had been three months since his death, and Hermione had spent the last three or four days with the toilet throwing up everything that she had in her stomach. She assumed it was some type of flu or a hex someone put on her causing her to be sick but when a week passed and she was still sick she decided that it wouldn't hurt to visit St. Mungo's.

She waited patiently in the waiting room to be called.

"Hermione Granger?" the healer called.

She got up and followed the Healer to a private room. They went over a few questions to determine what had been going on with her but when the healer asked her one of the questions, her face instantly paled.

"Dear, have you been sexually active?" the healer asked while writing things down.

"Y...yes" Hermione replied as her face paled.

"Well I think I know what's wrong, but I'm going to cast a spell just to be sure."

The healer put the wand over Hermione's stomach, chanting some sort of spell and within seconds a soft white light was emitting from her stomach.

"My dear, you are Pregnant" the healer announced as if it was a good thing.

Hermione instantly broke down in tears, unable to control her emotions.

"I take it this wasn't planned?" asked the healer.

"No of course it wasn't!" Hermione nearly screamed at the healer.

Hermione left the office in a daze, not really paying attention to anything. She was pregnant, with Severus' baby... and he wouldn't even be there to see his child being born, or see it grow up. Her heart broke at those thoughts, but it broke even more as she reminded herself that he's dead... never to return.

When Hermione entered the burrow, everyone was gathering around her asking her what was wrong. Ron was the first one to say something.

"Christ 'Mione, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a bloody ghost!" Ron said to the very pale girl.

"I wish I had" she replied quietly.

"What's wrong dear, whatever it is we will be here to help" came the soothing voice of Molly.

Hermione took a deep breath before informing her friends what exactly was wrong with her.

"I'm pregnant..." she said.

Gasps and questions immediately came towards her. Everyone was curious as to who the father was, they all knew that she hadn't been snogging with Ron so there was no way it was his and Harry was with Ginny.

"Who's the father 'Mione?" Harry asked concerned.

There were a bunch of yeah's and who's that came after the question.

"What does it matter… he's dead"

That's when everyone knew who it was; all they had to do was put two and two together.

Ginny was the one who said it aloud.

"Snape?" she asked surprised.

All Hermione did was nod before leaving a bunch of shocked people.


	2. Needing Severus

She slowly climbed the stairs to the room that Mrs. Weasley had set up for her. Ever since the war, Mrs. Weasley wanted everyone to stay together and help each other through this tough time so that meant that not only was Hermione staying there but Harry was also there along with all of the Weasley kids. Bill and Fleur were in one room, while Charlie was on the main floor and Percy and Audrey upstairs with their two little girls. Needless to say the Burrow was very full.

Hermione locked herself in her room, before breaking down. She slid down the door, as the tears continued to pour down her face. What was she going to do? She couldn't raise this baby on her own, but something inside of her told her that this was the last thing she had left of Severus so there was no doubt that she was going to keep the baby.

She placed a hand on her still flat stomach, and slowly but surely calmed down. In less than six months the baby would be here, she needed to start preparing for this whether she was ready or not.

The days passed slowly for Hermione, after telling everyone the news they all seemed to treat her differently. They were kinder and tried to keep her calm. She knew that they all just felt sorry for her but she couldn't blame them. She had secretly been looking for a place of her own, but was unable to find anything due to the sudden outbreak of people coming out of hiding since the war.

Hermione was doing what she did best while she was angry or upset. She was in the kitchen cooking the muggle way. She had just placed the pie in the oven when she heard someone say her name. She turned around to see a very worried Ginny.

"Mione?" Ginny said softly

"Hmm?" was the only response Hermione gave.

"Are you okay? I mean really okay like you say you are?"

Ginny knew the answer to that question but she just wanted to check up on Hermione. It was killing her that she couldn't help her best friend. No matter what she did she couldn't bring Snape back and that was the only thing Hermione wanted. She wanted a father for her child.


	3. Feeling His Presence

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. Hermione was now six months pregnant, and still hadn't informed anyone outside of the burrow of her condition. She knew that with all the media surrounding them that if it were to get out that she was pregnant with Severus Snape's child she would get a large amount of sympathy and that was the last thing she wanted. She was finally coming to terms with everything, but she was still very fragile. One mention of Severus could shatter everything she had accomplished. Basically she bad built up walls to keep everything and everyone out.

It was the day that she was to find out whether she was having a boy or a girl. In all honesty she didn't care what she was having because either way the baby was going to look like Severus… she just knew it. Apparating had become too much for her, so she stuck to using Floo Powder to travel from the burrow to St. Mungos.

Once she arrived there she was immediately brought back into the room that had become so familiar to her over the past few months. The healer had become accustomed to not saying anything. That was the way Hermione preferred it. Hermione was no longer the girl everyone once knew, now she was always quiet, alone and never looked well. She constantly had dark circles under her eyes, and even though she was pregnant she managed to look sickly thin.

"Congratulations Ms. Granger, your having a son" the healer said before leaving Hermione to her thoughts.

Tears instantly welled up in hermione's eyes. A son, she was going to have a son. She couldn't help herself from crying, she wanted Severus with her. She wanted to share this moment with him but she couldn't. She sat up and covered her eyes with her hands as she continued to bawl.

She abrubtly stopped when she felt someone presence. She didn't know who, until she felt like someone was wrapping their arms around her.

"Severus?" she half whispered.

But that wasn't possible, he was dead. There was no way she could feel him, but then she remembered something harry had said to her many years ago.

"No matter what you do, or where you go your lost loved ones are always here with you even though you can't see them. They can still see you, and they can still feel you, just like you can still feel them. You just have to open your eyes and let them in"

She wasn't sure if it was possible to cry harder but she was sure that she was. Only this time she wasn't crying out of despair, but out of happiness. She knew that he was there with her, she knew that he was able to see everything that was happening.

And that gave her the greatest comfort of all.


	4. Severus?

"Hermione Dear?" questioned the voice of Molly Weasley.

Hermione did her best to sit up which was becoming harder to do as each day passed. Sure she was only six months pregnant but she looked huge due to her small frame.

"Hmm?" she questioned softly.

"Oh deary, there is someone here to see you" and with that Molly left the girl alone to do whatever she needed to do.

Hermione eventually got up off the couch, and made her way towards the sitting room where someone she had never met was waiting. She approached the stranger with a questioning look on her face but before she had time to react the stranger grabbed her wrist forcefully.

"Just follow me, without making a noise and I will explain. I won't hurt you I promise" said the unfamiliar voice.

She nodded in agreement and followed the stranger out of the house. They quickly apparated to a house that she had been in only once. It was the Snape Manor. Her heart immediately sunk, knowing that this was where her lover used to live.

"What is the meaning of this?" she asked turning around to face the stranger but he was a stranger no more. She was standing there face to face with Severus Snape.

"Please tell me this isn't a cruel joke" she pleaded with tears in her eyes.

The man shook his head and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm alive Hermione." He said in that silky voice she had grown to love.

"But how? I was at your funeral and everything.." she replied starting to think back to the funeral.

FLASHBACK

The building was filled with darkness, as the men carried in the casket holding Severus Snape. Everyone in the audience was crying. It was a mix of people from students, to teachers, to friend, to family. There wasn't a dry eye in the building. The ceremony was over quickly but they had yet to burry the body. She watched solemnly as they lowered the casket into the ground. That was the last time she was going to see him.

END FLASHBACK

Thinking back, she never did see the body for it was a closed casket service.

"Why?" she asked with pleading eyes.

"I had to fake my death in order to relieve myself from the Death Eaters. If Voldemort hadn't died, I would have been killed either way."

His eyes traveled down to her stomach, he had been watching her for quite some time making sure she was okay. It had come as a shock to him to hear that she was pregnant and he wanted so badly to return to her and show her that he was alive but he was hiding in secrecy with the Malfoy's until they were sure that he was in the clear.

"May I?" she asked, placing his hands towards her stomach.

She nodded, and grabbed his hands, placing them on the left side where the baby had recently kicked. It had only started kicking a week ago, but the kicks had become more pronounced within the last couple of days.

"He recognizes his father" she said with a smile on her face.

She could feel the soft kicks coming, and knew that he could feel them too for the look on his face was the looked she had desperately wanted to see.


	5. Welcome to the World

Hermione had to return to the burrow without Severus, for he was still under protection. She wasn't sure when she was going to be able to see him next. Two more months passed, and Hermione was heavily pregnant. She found it difficult to move around the burrow, and usually just remained in the sitting room. She was definitely different; she was no longer the sad Hermione who didn't speak to anyone. Now she was more open, and happy about the baby. No one knew why the sudden change had occurred but they didn't want to question it in fear that it would bring back the depression.

She lifted herself up off the chair, after what seemed like an hour of struggling. She crossed the room over to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water but barely made it halfway before doubling over in pain.

She let out a loud scream, and bent down clenching her stomach. Within an instant five Weasley boys and their mother were in the room. Bill was the first to say anything.

"My Gods, someone call the mediwitch!" he said in a panic.

Everyone else was focusing on the small puddle that was forming on the floor.

"Jesus 'Mione, did your water break?" asked one of the twins.

"Yes you stupid Git! Get me to the hospital" she barked at the group of Weasleys just standing there.

Hermione arrived at St. Mungos in less than a minute and was greeted by her healer and mediwitch who rushed her into one of the delivery rooms. The baby was coming quick, but she knew that there was one person who needed to be there.

"Will someone please go fetch Severus?" she exclaimed as she was hit with another contraction

"Oh dear, you know he's dead" came the soothing voice of Mrs. Weasley.

"No he's not! Just go to the Snape manor and you will find him!"

They didn't even have to do that, for within seconds Severus Snape was making his way down the hallway.

He entered the room just in time to find Hermione in the position to push. He rushed over to her side ignoring the stares and gasps that were directed towards him.

Hermione was in tears, and quickly reached out for his hand. The hand that gave her greater comfort than she had ever felt.

"Alright dear, Just one more big push. The head is already out" exclaimed the mediwitch.

With one final cry, and one big push Hermione pushed with all her might delivering her son into the world.


	6. Will you be mine?

AN- This story is far from over, have no fear. There will be more coming (:

Hermione let out an exhausted sigh, but things were far from over. No one was saying anything , the room was rather quiet other than the soft voice of Severus comforting her.

"You did great baby, our baby boy is here" he whispered in her ear.

They both knew something wasn't right but Snape continued to comfort her until the Healer finally broke the silence in the room.

"Your son is fine, a bit early which means he's quite small but from what we can tell he's perfectly healthy"

Hermione let go of the breath she didn't know she had been holding. She feared that something was dreadfully wrong with her son. One of the other medi-witch's brought the small bundle over and placed it in her arms. Everyone left the couple alone in the room, so they could spend some alone time with their son.

"He has your eyes" she said quietly, still looking down at the small bundle in her arms.

"But thankfully he has your nose" he said with a soft chuckle.

Hermione looked up when she heard the door open. There in front of her was the entire Weasley clan, along with Harry Potter. She knew that they had to be confused, having thought that Severus Snape was buried deep in the ground.

"What's his name?" questioned the youngest Weasley.

Hermione looked up at Snape who was still looking down at his son.

"Alexander Severus Snape" she said quietly, barely above a whisper.

Snapes head immediately shot up, surprised that she would want to name their son after him. Tears started to form in his eyes, which caused everyone to gasp softly. He had never been an emotion man, in fact he came off as if he had absolutely had no emotions but here he was crying because the women who just gave birth to his first son wanted to name him after him.

"Thank you..." he said briefly before placing a kiss on her forehead. He couldn't have been more in love in his life.

"I assume you all are wondering how I am here?" he looked up at the group and continued.

"I was forced to go into hiding, in order to leave the Death Eaters especially since they had suspicions that I had never been on their side. So, during the war I faked my death." He didn't know how else to explain it.

After a while, everyone said their goodbyes and left the room which once again left Hermione and Severus alone.

"I love you Hermione Granger, and I'm hoping…" he said getting on one knee, pulling out a black velvety box.

The look on her face was one he wanted to remember for the rest of his life, it was the look that gave him butterflies and caused a tingling sensation in the depths of his stomach.

"I was hoping that you would marry me?" he asked after getting down on one knee.

Tears had already started falling down her cheeks, this was what she always wanted. She knew that he was the only one she would ever love which was why she took his death so hard.

"Of course I will!" she said quietly, trying not to disturb the sleeping baby she still held in her arms.

He took the ring out of the box, and slowly slid it on her ring finger. They were such an unlikely couple especially due to the age difference. He was old enough to be her father but in the end she knew no greater love than the love she shared with him.


	7. AUTHORS NOTE

AN!

Hey guys, this story isn't finished, I promise I'm just super busy with college right now and haven't found the time to sit down and write some more chapters but just continue to check and I promise that another one will be up soon! Thanks for your patience.


	8. The Surprise Visit

The nurse came back with Alexander and set him down in Hermione's arms.

The nurse smiled sweetly and turned to the crowd that had gathered around the little mother "Everyone but the father needs to leave, this little guy is hungry and I can assure you that it's not something you want to see"

Most of the Weasley's started to leave, but George refused to leave without a sly comment. "I wouldn't mind seeing Hermione's boob" George said with a slight perk on the word boob. Hermione turned her head and gave him a Malfoy worthy glare.

"Get out!" growled Severus.

George put his hands up and slowly backed out of the room. Leave it to one of the twins to make things tense in the room. After everyone had left, the room seemed to be a bit bigger than Hermione originally thought.

"Alright" the nurse said quietly, as she placed Alex in Hermione's arms. "Just place him like this..." the nurse helped Hermione situate Alex on her chest before the tiny infant turned towards the nipple and greedily started to feed. "Seems like he knows exactly what he's doing, I'll leave you two alone" the nurse said before exiting the room.

Hermione couldn't take her eyes off of their son, he was just so precious. He had a mop of black hair that could easily rival Harry's mess that he calls hair. Severus was standing back, watching his son feed from Hermione. He wouldn't have traded this moment for anything; it was the most amazing thing he had ever seen. How could someone so cold and dark like him create such a tiny human being with this wonderful women who was sitting in the bed before him.

Hermione could feel Severus' eyes on her "Beautiful, isn't he?" she asked without looking away from the infant.

Severus was speechless, he had no idea what to say so he simple nodded in agreement. Alex soon finished his meal. Hermione let out a soft gasp when he opened his eyes to look at her. They were such a unique shade of brown; she had never seen anything like it.

"Would you like to hold him?" she asked her fatigue evident in her voice. Severus nodded, but before he took their son from her he grabbed his wand and enlarged the bed enough so he could sit down next to her as she slept. He took a seat, just as she placed the baby in his arms.

"Get some sleep love, you did an amazing job today... I'm so proud of you" this was completely opposite of the man people knew him as. He was known as the greasy bat that lived in the dungeons. Not some sentimental man, but he was proving everyone wrong.

Hermione turned her body and got as comfortable as she could, trying to ignore the pain she was feeling and before she knew it she was off in her own land of dreaming. Meanwhile, Severus just sat there and watched his son, as he looked around curiously. This had to be the best day of his life, nothing could ever compare to this.

"Mr. Snape?" a voice came from the door. Severus' head shot up, as he looked at the women who was addressing him so formally. "There is someone here to see you, is it alright to let them in?" Severus nodded. Two figures came into the room, two figures he hadn't expected to see; Lucius and Draco.

"Is that..?" Draco asked, looking at the blue bundle of blankets in Snapes arms. He simply nodded his head and motioned for them to come have a closer look.

"What's his name?" Lucius asked.

"Alexander, Alexander Severus Snape." He said with pride evident in his voice.

Lucius and Draco just stood there looking down at the infant, unable to form words. It wasn't everyday you saw Severus Snape holding a baby. Then again, it wasn't everyday you saw Lucius Malfoy at a loss for words.

"I love her you know, Hermione I mean." Severus said quietly. "I can't let anything happen to her, she's my life. I also asked her to marry me, which she greatly accepted. She's my family now Lucius. You have to understand that. I know the Dark Lord has some things against her because she's Potter's best friend but I will do anything I can to make sure she's safe."

Lucius nodded, he just wanted his best friend to be happy and clearly Hermione did that. He was willing to let go all of the bloodline crap, to keep Severus and his family safe. Severus was the only true friend Lucius had; he after all made him Draco's godfather. He wouldn't have done that if he didn't have the utmost trust in him.

"I'll do whatever I can." Lucius said, confirming to his friend that he would also go against the Dark Lord if need be.

Little did either of them know, Hermione had been listening to their conversation the entire time. She had drifted off to sleep, only to be woken up by the nurse saying that someone was here to see Severus.


End file.
